Are there rules on grieving?

Whether your loved one was taken suddenly, like in my case where my husband had a heart attack, or over a long period of time as with cancer or other illnesses, no one grieves the same way.

And neither is easier than the other.

This is my story about unexpectedly becoming a widow at 44 years old. I’m not a medical professional nor have I done extensive research on the subject. I fumbled through the initial mourning period. I tried to discern what I was expected to do, how I was supposed to act and, more importantly, what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

Even though my husband was older by 18 years, it was a stunning event that shocked not only me and my family, but our entire community.

If you are a widow or widower, I hope my story may resonates with you. Or it may seem completely foreign and out of whack. There are incidents and situations that I’m sure I handled very poorly and others that I’m okay with.

One thing is certain. This was a difficult process, and after 12 years I’m still surprised at feelings that come out of the blue.

There have been many times during my life that I look back and am so grateful to God that I don’t know what the future holds. I suppose it’s God’s way of protecting us. Had I known what was in store, I would have worried myself silly waiting for this horrific event to occur.

I hope you’ll find some tiny piece of comfort in knowing that you are not blazing this trail alone. While the journey is never over, for me it’s become much easier.

I wish you the same experience.