It’s that wonderful time of year when we are supposed to re-evaluate our past year and set goals and resolutions for the new year. Do you do this? Most people don’t. I do.
I absolutely love reflecting and looking forward to the New Year, but I have to say that it hasn’t always been that way.
Prior to my husband’s passing, I eagerly wrote out my plans for the upcoming year. I’d try to drag him into doing it too, but he wasn’t interested. He read a lot at work and he didn’t have room for reading during his time off. He also had to plan, track and justify his goals for work and so the last thing he wanted to do was more of that at home.
Looking toward the future
After he passed, I had trouble looking forward to the future. I wanted the past back. I wanted things the way they used to be. But I also wanted to skip ahead a few years and bypass the emotional pain of losing him. I remember having coffee with two girlfriends and while one of them was carrying on, I drifted off and thought, “I’d love to jump to 2010,” which was 10 years into the future.
Looking back now, if I would have had those magic powers to do just that, I would have missed out on a lot. Sure, there would have been pain to suffer through, but there was also fun when I least expected it.
The first New Year that I experienced alone came just six months after he died. So many people told me to do nothing for the first six months. Don’t sell your car, your house, don’t move and especially don’t get remarried. I couldn’t image getting remarried so soon, but people do it all the time. It’s not for me to judge them, I know that it’s not something I could do.
Back to goal planning
I am not a medical professional, life coach or coach of any kind. All I know is what has worked for me. And for me, goal planning works.
I guess I like the numbers involved in tracking those goals because they keep me on track. For example, for 2021 I decided to ride my Peloton at least three times a week (I know that doesn’t seem like much). I got the bike in September and don’t love it. Gasp I know, I know! Everyone you’ve talked to that has one loves it. I don’t. I spent a lot of money on it, so I’m going to use. Anyway, I got on this morning and started out in 45th position for the people who were on the same class at the same time that I was. I got up to 6th! The time flew by and I felt great about my progress. I’ve thought about it all morning.
Whatever goal you decide to pursue, make sure it’s measurable. You want to read more? How many books a month would that be? You want to exercise? What type of exercise and how often? Whatever it is, track it. Make an elaborate chart to hang on the fridge or just put a note on your phone or calendar. For me, it’s addictive.
Oh, it’s also effective.
