If you are facing the holidays alone for the first time (or even the tenth or more times), now is the time to make a plan.
- Don’t wait for invites. There may be parties and get togethers that you absolutely want to go to and if so, put those on your calendar. But why not plan your own season/party? Make a wish list of things you’ve always wanted to do and then pick one or two (maybe all) and make them happen. Who knows, you may be starting a new tradition.
- Volunteer. If you want to blaze your own trail and try something new, volunteer just about anywhere. For my first holiday alone, I was working as a freelancer for a newspaper. I volunteered to take on stories on Thanksgiving Day so that other writers could spend it with their families. I wasn’t feeling good about the holiday, but I did feel good about helping someone else.
- Do something that you enjoy. Would you rather binge watch The Andy Griffith Show than mingle with pretentious people you barely know at some goofy party put on by a friend of a friend? Or maybe you’d rather play record breaking eight hours of Solitaire on your tablet? Then by all means hangout with Barney and Andy or fire up your iPad. The only person you need to attempt to make happy is you when you are facing the holidays alone.
- Take it day by day. Thinking about every step of the season, all the baking you should do, gifts you need to buy, cards you should send and parties to attend is exhausting. Just get through today. That might even mean turning off the TV to avoid the holiday commercials portraying happy families. And it might even mean leaving all those cards you receive unopened until after the holidays when you have a clearer mind to read them.
- Know what will set you off. If there’s an event or date during the holidays that you know is going to be difficult, don’t dread it, plan for it. If it’s just too tough to be with others and you’d rather be alone, then be alone. Or vice versa. And remember, it’s okay to cry. For me, I felt better after a good cry. I didn’t look too great, but I felt better.
- Most importantly, remember the reason for the season. Get to church and focus on the real meaning of the holidays, not the commercial reason. If you don’t have a church, check out mine, Church of Eleven22. We have a whole library of sermons, resources and campuses.
- Stay home and read my book. Okay, it’s a shameless plug, but this is one way to prove that you really aren’t alone.
